I will be the first to admit that things have been really, really intense for me lately. I decided to post instead of take a video because I was afraid I might get a little bit too emotional and I don't like crying! Anyways, I've fallen behind in writing and I'm trying my best to catch up but I haven't had enough time outside of work to do much of anything! For those of you who don't know or haven't seen my Things I'm Afraid to Tell You, I'm bipolar.
I am diagnosed officially with Bipolar Disorder II with mania, fairly severe panic disorder with agoraphobia (recovering for the moment, but it really never goes away, much like an addiction only a phobia.), generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, and I have some obsessive compulsive ticks, too. annnnd...well, I'm having some issues at the moment. It's been extremely difficult for me to keep up with anything at the moment. I go to work and then come home and get into bed. For those of you who aren't familiar with bipolar disorder, it's a complicated disorder. For me, I either have constant racing thoughts (think having a couple hundred of hamsters running on wheels in your brain. Tons and tons of thoughts running through your head but nothing specifically that you can pin down.) or I get depressed. At this point, I guess I would consider how I'm feeling 'depressed' but it's more like having no motivation whatsoever to do anything. Constantly ti8red but can't sleep or I sleep far too much.
Anyways, I felt that I kind of needed to explain my lack of letters and posts to you guys. I know I'm a bit of a disappointment at the moment (or at least I feel that way!) but hopefully y'all can understand a bit! Love you all and thank you for sticking by me!