Saturday, February 23, 2013

2-23-13




I will be the first to admit that things have been really, really intense for me lately. I decided to post instead of take a video because I was afraid I might get a little bit too emotional and I don't like crying! Anyways, I've fallen behind in writing and I'm trying my best to catch up but I haven't had enough time outside of work to do much of anything! For those of you who don't know or haven't seen my Things I'm Afraid to Tell You, I'm bipolar.

I am diagnosed officially with Bipolar Disorder II with mania, fairly severe panic disorder with agoraphobia (recovering for the moment, but it really never goes away, much like an addiction only a phobia.), generalized anxiety disorder, insomnia, and I have some obsessive compulsive ticks, too. annnnd...well, I'm having some issues at the moment. It's been extremely difficult for me to keep up with anything at the moment. I go to work and then come home and get into bed. For those of you who aren't familiar with bipolar disorder, it's a complicated disorder. For me, I either have constant racing thoughts (think having a couple hundred of hamsters running on wheels in your brain. Tons and tons of thoughts running through your head but nothing specifically that you can pin down.) or I get depressed. At this point, I guess I would consider how I'm feeling 'depressed' but it's more like having no motivation whatsoever to do anything. Constantly ti8red but can't sleep or I sleep far too much.

Anyways, I felt that I kind of needed to explain my lack of letters and posts to you guys. I know I'm a bit of a disappointment at the moment (or at least I feel that way!) but hopefully y'all can understand a bit! Love you all and thank you for sticking by me!

5 comments:

Frida said...

<3 hugs!

Nina said...

<3 I'm sorry to hear you are not feeling well lately. :( Don't worry about writing, take you as much time as you need.

We had a real hell of a week as well as Jona had to stay in hospital for three days regarding breathing problems due to a nasty virus. :(

TMC said...

Good for you for getting help, getting a diagnosis and trying to get on with the business of living.

Anonymous said...

Take your time, don't worry about the delay in writing back. I can wait!
Just take good care about yourself.
A big hug, Coby (from the Netherlands)

Limner said...

You sure fooled me. :) if I ever meet someone who doesn't have an issue to deal with, why I do believe I just might think that I skated past myself and did a free fall into Heaven.

I wonder why we still fear sharing our imperfections when the world is filled with perfectionists, like me? :) I decided to embrace me, my brain, my mind, myself. I understand where you are, so "welcome to the world baby girl." It's a safe place. Hello, how are you? :)

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